Preachers of Anywhere, USA

indexIn my home we sit around a lot and have conversations about everything, from church gossip, yes I’m well aware that’s not good, to media, and community issues. From HIV to Trump, from Christianity to TBN. We cover the gauntlet. We make up a great deal of different types of people in my immediate family circle, we spend a hell of a lot of time together. We have the full-time pastor, who retired from the Police Department in New York City, the budding preacher my cousin Nate, Chrissy the Department of Justice and Healthcare specialist, the retired matriarch Mama who loves TBN and MSNBC and Rachel Maddow especially, my cousin who is an artist, loves to talk, read, and is called but can’t quite get it together and stay out of trouble, the musical genius, and everlasting hustler and el cheapo, who decided he was better at Mathematics, auntie the talker, who can tell you about every way to get a deal or something for free, or about any program known to man, or any study ever done on man, who can come across a little edgy but what you see is what you get, and me of course the intellect who loves art, the study of theology, thinks music heals the soul and believes people take themselves entirely too seriously, and as my best friend says the idealist. So we make a great group of conversationalists.


Well the other night we weren’t all in the house chilling together, but Chrissy, auntie, me and Nate were watching Preachers of Atlanta. The faces were pretty well known, Canton Jones, Le’Andria   from Sunday’s Best, and a few others who evidently are known but I don’t keep up with a lot of stuff so I never know. Anyway midway through the show Canton Jones had a listening party for some young brothers who are trying to turn their lives around and he invited all the other participating pastors of the show on, now I can tell you by this time auntie the loud talker already found something she disliked about the show. From the start Pastor Le’Andria was taped giving out condoms and cigarettes. We’ll deal with that later, but needless to say it did not sit well with my mother nor the other pastors for completely different reasons, but like I said we’ll address that later. One of the things Pastor Jones says was that they all had a dynamic way of ministering to their congregation and constituent and he thought it the listening party would be a great way to get everyone together to talk about melding together, and uniting. That’s pretty funny. What’s so ironic about that is these ministries use very different measures than the churches that we grew up in, Pastor Jones has his church in a nightclub, with Hip Hop and jumping around and God knows what else, Le’Andria hands out cigarettes, I’m not too sure about the two others but Pastor Hambrick is a detective with the Atlanta police. But before they could get on the same page to unite when they heard Pastor Jones speak about Pastor Le’Andria handing out both cigarettes and condoms a firestorm started. Now I needed to give my readers some background on this before I start in with my analysis, and I promise I’ll be sure to give you the full scoop of the stance of the participants. One pastor says “you give out cigarettes?” and Pastor Le’Andria says yes God told her to do it, he answers “Ok, I guess I can get with that, if the Lord told you to do it, but I don’t understand the condoms, that is not of God.”

Did I miss something?

The whole next ten minutes started in on how condoms encourages people to have pre-marital sex, and fornicate and the bible speaks without challenge to these scriptures, then of course Pastor Le’ Andria opened her mouth again and said that she believed that someone who was homosexual could be a pastor and like the Black church has historically done, they went into a frenzy. Lord God why’d she say that? Oh no the bible speaks against homosexuality, the bible says . . . . The bible says . . . . For that matter we might as well throw the bible out of the church.


Needless to say we paused the show and had mini discussions throughout.

I’ve always been told never discuss God and politics, I love to discuss both, and shake hands and thank the company when I’m done for a great time.

Now I’m no preacher, or pastor, but I am a lifetime resident of the black church, I grew up in one. I revered it, I was prideful about being an AME member, until I realized that wasn’t exactly anything to be proud of, and it didn’t really matter. But what I will say is it gave me a love for the word that I never knew I’d grow up to chase. And chase it I did. I bought books, I borrowed books, I researched phrases, beliefs, I bout a Qur’an and a bible I learned about the Torah. I tried an attempt at learning Aramaic on my own, wasn’t very successful. Needless to say I know a bit about the word when people quote it.

I’ve been having a real issue with the church as of late, fanatical white churches and the black church in general. I’m finding that people are not evolving their intellect and the understanding of the word that should come with it. We worship the same way that our grandparents did even though we communicate different, we dress different, and we no longer ride donkeys we drive cars, and cars that can stop and park on their own. We have TVs that are smart, color and cable, yet we want to hold the bible to the same translation that our grandparents had. How is that? How is it that how we look at the bible and what it says and how it says it has not evolved or better said how is it that we haven’t evolved? Even God evolved. He created Adam and Eve and started over with Noah, he brought the Israelites out of bondage and then decided to open up the salvation of the Lord to Gentiles again, since Adam and Eve were a bust initially. But we still are having arguments about liquor marriage pre-marital sex, homosexuality, the chosen people etc.

First things first for my fellow bible thumpers, when we address condoms I want you to first look in the mirror and ask did I stay a virgin until I got married, if the answer is no, sit down. If by any chance you still think you have a right to still be speaking about the said issue lets go deeper. Show me the text where God speaks about condoms? I’ll wait . . . .

Oh that’s right you can’t, well show me where he addresses AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, our failing foster care system, and prostitution, and not Old and New Testament prostitution, because those are very different things. One of the problems that we have as a society of bible believers is that we are using scriptures to address things God did not intend because those things did not exist then. Nowhere in the bible does God speak about transgenderism, it didn’t exist. And before you begin in on the God knows everything etc etc, remember if that would have been the case how do we make arguments for Genesis. Now just in case you are still sanding and believe that my arguments thus far need some tweaking here’s one for you. In the New Testament Jesus heals on the Sabbath, the Pharisee’s which some of you bible thumpers are and don’t know it, protested against the sanctity of the word, sound familiar, against the doctrine, anyone remember what Jesus said? He said because he was dealing with life and death of a man it was ok, when we speak about handing out condoms we are talking about the life and death of man, (in the humankind sense). The life and death in disease form, life and death in the form of lives of children who are born to people who aren’t emotionally and mentally capable of even taking care of themselves, there is more than one way to kill someone. So for all those of you who you all have forsaken are against the condom giveaway let me know how many prostitutes live in your home, or how many of their children are adopted by you, or how many have a healthcare plan that you fund personally, or how mmnay of forsaken a revival or platform service to go out and pay them for an hour of their going rate for their service to just talk and find out about them so they can spend an hour less on their back.

Now as for the homosexuality argument, this one is the most fun. Many people use the Old Testament to back up their arguments and some even use Paul in the New Testament where he argues not to allow ourselves to be taken up with the powers of sexual desire. He also argues in the same testament that if you are born a slave do not fret about your station in life, just praise the lord. Do not try to free yourself that would be disobedient to your master and the station in life that you hold. Now for my black people when Martin was helping us boycott I didn’t hear anyone argue that we were defiling the word of God. I don’t recall any books or movies or PBS Eyes on the Prize segments about all the black people who said that we were trying to keep up the shenanigans Harriet Tubman started, everyone to me seem to be enjoying their freedom, and walking about happily, wonder f you guys know according to Paul we all are going to hell.

Now let’s be serious what needed to change was not the bible itself but how we interpreted the word of the Lord. Guess what how we read it evolved. For instance take the word Homosexual we read it in the bible, but guess what it can’t translated into English from Hebrew, Greek, or Aramaic, want to know why? Because the word did not come into being until the twentieth century. Homosexuality is not described in the bible, if you can find it prove it. People often mention Sodom and Gomorrah I love it when they do.

What the people in Sodom & Gomorrah tried to do was rape the angels, homosexuality as we know it today is between two people who claim to love each other, and have entered into a relationship consensually, not being called out by a group of angry people in front of someone’s door. Next up, I believe that’s me, get on the mic for the symphony. When we speak of the angels we attach a sex to them, how do we know the angels were male or female or had a sex of any kind we have not uncovered any information that speaks to that. The crowd that wants to attack the angels are referred to as men, this is a usual reference in the bible, all of the bible before we started printing them on a more international level that does not mean that they were actual men like we know the meaning of the word men. Men has always meant mankind in the bible. The definition of homosexuality is           .

When are we going to elevate our level of thinking, our level of understanding? When will the bible of our grandparents be elevated to the bible of us. When will we start looking at times and the historical input of the biblical times when we look at how to lead our people? When we will we stop being donkeys lead by the same teaching of old? I don’t know but I’m going to try to stop it with me

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